Episode 2.13: Hunter, Prey
I guess now we have proof that Babylon 5 can dedicate a whole episode to an Earth coup mytharc manhunt and still be boring. I don’t know that anyone wanted that proof, but: we have it. Yay?
So it turns out that Socrates from BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE was the president’s personal physician, and he’s gone missing, and Mr. Ryan from BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE shows up on the station looking for him. The stated reason for the manhunt is that Socrates used his security clearance to steal a bunch of valuable secrets, and now they’re trying to find him before he sells them. The audience immediately says “Hey, I bet this is related to the Earth coup thing—like maybe the Doctor has proof that the Veep left the ship under false pretenses right before it exploded, so he can prove that something shady was going on.” And you, dear audience, would be right—that idea has a ton of hole in it, but it’s still pretty obvious and it turns out to be correct—but the B5 command staff, as warriors in a secret army specifically designed to stop the shady Veep’s coup, don’t put this together at all. Garibaldi goes to talk to Franklin, who knew Socrates back in medical school, and Franklin swears up and down that Socrates wouldn’t ever commit treason, but despite ALSO being a part of the secret anti-coup army Franklin also fails to realize that maybe Socrates knows something and this whole thing is a ruse to try to frame him. General Hague, you have recruited one hell of a phenomenally ineffective secret army.
Realizing that Sheridan et al might need a little push, the anti-coup commandos send Detective Sevilla from CSI: MIAMI to explain what’s going on in small words that Sheridan can understand, and to demand that he help them to recover Socrates and any evidence he might be carrying. This woman’s name is Sarah, and she is my new favorite character, and I am incredibly sad that IMDB tells me she’s not coming back. Sheridan’s whole thing is “Aggressive Authority,” and Sarah out-authorities him so easily it’s amazing. She has no time for his crap, she brushes off his backtalk, and she demands results. She could have been the coolest recurring character on the show if they’d kept her around as the ongoing liaison between Sheridan and the anti-coup brigade, but alas. At least we got this episode.
So the B5 officers concoct a plan to recover Socrates before Kenickie from GREASE and Commander Harris from UNDERS SIEGE can find him and take him back to Earth, but this is complicated when Bull from NIGHT COURT shows up, realizes Socrates must be worth something, and kidnaps him. I am not making that up: Richard Moll from NIGHT COURT is here, and he has long hair and a shaggy beard, and he’s awesome and I want him to be a recurring character as well. And as awesome as he is, the only good moment from a series regular in the entire episode comes when Garibaldi scares the living crap out of him with a gun and a speech about how cranky he is. So yay! That was cool. The officers get Socrates and his evidence and give it to Sarah, who tells them that it’s not going to have any actual effect on anything for at elast several more episodes, so whatever. At least we spent an hour watching them get it?
And here’s the problem: Socrates did a medical scan on the Veep the day before the Veep left the president’s ship claiming illness, which was the day before it exploded, and this scan proved that the Veep was healthy. But: doesn’t this mean the doctor was on the ship, too? Why didn’t he explode with it? Also: Sarah says the Veep and his coup-mpadres let the doctor live this long because killing him to keep him quiet would ahve been suspicious, but that means he’s just been walking around knowing the truth for weeks now, and how bad of a coup-mpadre do you have to be to not be able to kill a feeble old man and make it look like an accident? Hell, how did you not see this coming when he scanned the Veep in the first place and just MADE SURE he was on the ship when it exploded? Or even just chuck him out an airlock somewhere and TELL everyone he was on the ship when it exploded? I suppose it’s okay that Sheridan and co. are such incompetent coup-fighters, because the Veep and co. seem like pretty incompetent coup-makers.
Meanwhile there’s a whole B-plot about Kosh which manages to be—against all odds and flying in the face of reason itself—both uninformative and lame. Every word out of Kosh’s mouth is gold, or at least it has been, but when Sheridan chases him down in this episode to demand some answers all Kosh can do is talk in some pretty obvious circles and then shut him down. But then he agrees to help out later on, by smuggling Socrates off the station in his own private ship? Which it turns out is organic in nature, which I thought we already knew, but which is even so possibly the only cool thing in the whole episode that will actually matter in the future?
Just kidding: there’s one other cool thing I thought was pretty neat (while also being pretty silly). In the scene before Sheridan goes to meet with Sarah, he is tipped off by a red ribbon tied around a railing, which is apparently a signal. Garibaldi is with him but doesn’t see the red ribbon signal because a DUDE IN A RANGER COSTUME walks right by him. On one hand, this is awesome, and I totally thought the Rangers were going to show up and do something, but they didn’t, but that’s okay because it was still a neat hint that they’re doing things in the background. On the other hand: what possible good is a secret army that wears an incredibly identifiable uniform? Come on, guys. This is arguably even worse than the last Ranger we saw talking about their secret army right in front of everybody in the whole docking bay. I recognize that TV relies on clear visual language, but these spies are not very good at being stealthy. It’s like on AGENTS OF SHIELD when Hydra slaps its frigging logo on virtually everything it touches.
We’re lucky this episode had so many awesome guest stars, because it didn’t really have anything else going for it. This is concerning to me, because it’s the first time I can remember the big mytharc stuff being less than stellar.
So it turns out that Socrates from BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE was the president’s personal physician, and he’s gone missing, and Mr. Ryan from BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE shows up on the station looking for him. The stated reason for the manhunt is that Socrates used his security clearance to steal a bunch of valuable secrets, and now they’re trying to find him before he sells them. The audience immediately says “Hey, I bet this is related to the Earth coup thing—like maybe the Doctor has proof that the Veep left the ship under false pretenses right before it exploded, so he can prove that something shady was going on.” And you, dear audience, would be right—that idea has a ton of hole in it, but it’s still pretty obvious and it turns out to be correct—but the B5 command staff, as warriors in a secret army specifically designed to stop the shady Veep’s coup, don’t put this together at all. Garibaldi goes to talk to Franklin, who knew Socrates back in medical school, and Franklin swears up and down that Socrates wouldn’t ever commit treason, but despite ALSO being a part of the secret anti-coup army Franklin also fails to realize that maybe Socrates knows something and this whole thing is a ruse to try to frame him. General Hague, you have recruited one hell of a phenomenally ineffective secret army.
Realizing that Sheridan et al might need a little push, the anti-coup commandos send Detective Sevilla from CSI: MIAMI to explain what’s going on in small words that Sheridan can understand, and to demand that he help them to recover Socrates and any evidence he might be carrying. This woman’s name is Sarah, and she is my new favorite character, and I am incredibly sad that IMDB tells me she’s not coming back. Sheridan’s whole thing is “Aggressive Authority,” and Sarah out-authorities him so easily it’s amazing. She has no time for his crap, she brushes off his backtalk, and she demands results. She could have been the coolest recurring character on the show if they’d kept her around as the ongoing liaison between Sheridan and the anti-coup brigade, but alas. At least we got this episode.
So the B5 officers concoct a plan to recover Socrates before Kenickie from GREASE and Commander Harris from UNDERS SIEGE can find him and take him back to Earth, but this is complicated when Bull from NIGHT COURT shows up, realizes Socrates must be worth something, and kidnaps him. I am not making that up: Richard Moll from NIGHT COURT is here, and he has long hair and a shaggy beard, and he’s awesome and I want him to be a recurring character as well. And as awesome as he is, the only good moment from a series regular in the entire episode comes when Garibaldi scares the living crap out of him with a gun and a speech about how cranky he is. So yay! That was cool. The officers get Socrates and his evidence and give it to Sarah, who tells them that it’s not going to have any actual effect on anything for at elast several more episodes, so whatever. At least we spent an hour watching them get it?
And here’s the problem: Socrates did a medical scan on the Veep the day before the Veep left the president’s ship claiming illness, which was the day before it exploded, and this scan proved that the Veep was healthy. But: doesn’t this mean the doctor was on the ship, too? Why didn’t he explode with it? Also: Sarah says the Veep and his coup-mpadres let the doctor live this long because killing him to keep him quiet would ahve been suspicious, but that means he’s just been walking around knowing the truth for weeks now, and how bad of a coup-mpadre do you have to be to not be able to kill a feeble old man and make it look like an accident? Hell, how did you not see this coming when he scanned the Veep in the first place and just MADE SURE he was on the ship when it exploded? Or even just chuck him out an airlock somewhere and TELL everyone he was on the ship when it exploded? I suppose it’s okay that Sheridan and co. are such incompetent coup-fighters, because the Veep and co. seem like pretty incompetent coup-makers.
Meanwhile there’s a whole B-plot about Kosh which manages to be—against all odds and flying in the face of reason itself—both uninformative and lame. Every word out of Kosh’s mouth is gold, or at least it has been, but when Sheridan chases him down in this episode to demand some answers all Kosh can do is talk in some pretty obvious circles and then shut him down. But then he agrees to help out later on, by smuggling Socrates off the station in his own private ship? Which it turns out is organic in nature, which I thought we already knew, but which is even so possibly the only cool thing in the whole episode that will actually matter in the future?
Just kidding: there’s one other cool thing I thought was pretty neat (while also being pretty silly). In the scene before Sheridan goes to meet with Sarah, he is tipped off by a red ribbon tied around a railing, which is apparently a signal. Garibaldi is with him but doesn’t see the red ribbon signal because a DUDE IN A RANGER COSTUME walks right by him. On one hand, this is awesome, and I totally thought the Rangers were going to show up and do something, but they didn’t, but that’s okay because it was still a neat hint that they’re doing things in the background. On the other hand: what possible good is a secret army that wears an incredibly identifiable uniform? Come on, guys. This is arguably even worse than the last Ranger we saw talking about their secret army right in front of everybody in the whole docking bay. I recognize that TV relies on clear visual language, but these spies are not very good at being stealthy. It’s like on AGENTS OF SHIELD when Hydra slaps its frigging logo on virtually everything it touches.
We’re lucky this episode had so many awesome guest stars, because it didn’t really have anything else going for it. This is concerning to me, because it’s the first time I can remember the big mytharc stuff being less than stellar.
Here’s my unofficial hypothesis as of right now: Kosh is actually the ship, and the thing in the encounter suit is just an organic drone or remote. That’s why they don’t want anyone to see inside of it, because then they’ll know the secret. Don’t tell me if I’m right, obviously, but: cards on the table, that’s my current theory. And if I’m wrong, I’m TOTALLY using that idea for a book :)
ReplyDeleteFascinating theory. The Vorlons will play very interesting roles over the course of the series. There are a few really cool scenes with their ships, and other cool scenes with them.
DeleteAnswers will be known in their correct time :).
This is absolutely your funniest review so far, extra funny because I spend all the episodes playing IMDB bingo with all the guest stars also.
ReplyDeleteso far we've had Bull from Night Court who is also the voice of Two Face on a couple of Batman series and Michael Ansara as the TechnoMage who was Mr Freeze on almost all the Batman animated series and it's the voices that trigger my memory cells even when I can't put a name to the face